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Eric the Midget is approximately 21 inches tall when not perched upon his power chair. Though it is unclear whether this chair is an actual source for Lynch's evil powers, he clearly derives mobility from this modern-day siege perilous, which allows him to cover level terrain at over miles per hour. He reported it was somewhere between 6 and 8 inches, but later confirmed that he was only five, which by midget standards makes him comparable to Mandingo and various other negroids. ETM is a self-admitted virgin , and has only ever got to first base with his fake camwhore girlfriend. On the same date that he measured his wang, the virgin who could kick the bucket at any moment decided it would be prudent to deny a sexual encounter with pr0n actress and noted attention whore Tabitha Stevens.

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